Friday, August 5, 2011

The Birth of Judah Bennett Kaspar


Judah: One Who Praises God Bennett: One Who Is Blessed

Monday May 23, 2011 I woke-up at 4:30am with mild contractions. I got up and went to the bathroom, smiled to myself and went back to bed thinking that we were soon going to have a baby. When Michael got up I told him that I had been having mild contractions and he suggested that we have my mom start watching Haddie for the day. After some breakfast Michael and I went for a LONG walk in the heat. Naturally I had to go to the bathroom after walking several miles. Unfortunately, after knocking on several of our neighbors doors (so I could use the bathroom) no one was home. So back home we went. Then I decided that it would be a good idea to go to target (my favorite place) to buy some PJ pants and a robe for after the birth. Then my mom took us out to Panera for a nice light lunch. It was such an odd feeling knowing that my body was slowly getting ready to have a baby while we sat and enjoyed a nice lunch. No one around me knew my little secret! When we got home we all took naps knowing that the night might be a long one. After a while I got up and decided to make strawberry muffins. What a nice afternoon treat! Contractions seemed to come and go with no real major pain or pattern. With Haddie I had a long pre-labor and it was looking like this was going to be the same way. My dad was scheduled to come in that evening and I was sure he would make it before this little one made his entrance. Sure enough, my mom and Haddie went to go pick up my dad from the airport and stopped off to pick up some dinner. That evening we all enjoyed a nice dinner of chicken, corn on the cob, and fresh fruit on the back deck. It was during our dinner (around 8ish) that I started to have contractions that I was having to relax through a bit although still not regular. No need to time at this point. After dinner I spent some time on the exercise ball doing figure eights and listening to some worship music to prepare my heart for the night. Around ten I put on Pride and Prejudice and enjoyed that. Around 12 I got into bed and decided to try and get some rest for the night. It didn't last long. I decided to get in the shower at around 12:30 and at this point I had to truly relax through contractions. I was making the transition from pre-labor to labor! At this point we really started to track contractions and see where things were going. At about 1:30 we were having contractions about 2-4 min. apart lasting for about a min. at a time. We decided to call the midwife and she said that it was up to us as to when we wanted to come in. She said we could stay at home a bit longer (knowing we wanted a natural childbirth). She told us she would notify the staff in the ER that we would be coming through. After talking through things for awhile we decided to get things ready and head on into the hospital. We live about 20 minutes away and I wanted to have time to get the antibiotics in before I went into transition. I was positive for Group B Strep and was hoping to get 2 rounds of antibiotics in before I delivered. I also wanted some time to get settled in my room before I was in transition. Around 2:00 am we left our house for the hospital and called our photographers to let them know that they could meet us at the hospital. We arrived at 2:30am. When we got to the ER I am not sure that the staff believed that I was truly in labor. I calmly told them that I was in labor and that I needed to go to Labor and Delivery. They asked if this was my first. I smiled and said no, it was my second. I then added that they should have been notified that I was on my way. After this they had an aid bring us up to labor and delivery. I had to stop twice on the way up to breath through contractions. We had a great nurse (Gina) who checked us in, and I asked if I could start the antibiotics while they did my initial 20 min. read on the baby. She kindly told me that they would wait to make sure that I was going to be staying. In my head I was thinking that I better be staying! At the same time I had not been checked internally at any point in the pregnancy and really had not a clue how dilated I was. I got dressed in my clothes I had brought from home (my cozy pants from high school that needed to be tossed and a nice new tank bought for labor). They checked me and we were all surprised to find out that I was about 7 cm dilated! Way to go Lindsey! I got completely energized at that point. We did the 20 minute read and they said we were staying and did the first round of antibiotics.
Michael was an amazing coach. We had a great time being refreshed in the Bradley Method as we taught two 12 week courses to 3 other couples leading up to our birth. This time we felt even more prepared and we knew a bit more what to expect. We had talked through the areas we felt we could improve on and had grown in our relationship as a couple.
During the initial reading Michael made me as comfortable as he could. I hate staying in the bed when I am in labor and so this is always the hardest part for me. I did much better this time than I did with Hadassah.
As soon as I could I got up and started walking around only pausing to relax through a contraction. The staff was so great at just letting me do my thing. They dimmed the lights and got the room at the right temperature. They also got everything set up for the birth so that it would not bother me later. Our midwife, JJ, came in and checked on us to see how we were doing. She did a great job of just letting me labor and we even enjoyed some time together talking about where she went to school and the history of midwifery. I would just pause during a contraction when I needed to.
Another thing that was new for us this time was that I had my own personal retreat a few weeks before my due date. It was a time for me to get away and prepare myself for the birth and the adjustment of having a new baby. I spent a lot of time praying for the birth and letting go of any fears or hesitations that I was holding on to. I also prayed that this birth would be a testimony to those around me to the awesomeness of our LORD and Creator. During that time I picked out some verses from the Bible that helped me to keep my focus on Jesus during the labor. He truly is my strength and rock I can rest upon.
At around 5 am I decided that I wanted to go in the shower. Here you see one of the nurses covering my port so that it didn't get wet in the shower. I am amazed to see how calm I am in these pictures because it was so different with Haddie. The shower felt amazing.
After the shower I got really warm and needed to cool down with some ice chips. Those things are amazing during labor!
I love this picture of Michael because it shows how active of a coach he is! He does a great job of meeting each of my needs and truly serving me during this time. My love for him is always so great during labor!
Just a cute pic! Amazing that this is just a few hours from Judah coming into the world!
After the shower I asked to be checked one last time. I wanted to know where I was at. I was tired from staying up all night and wanted to know how things were progressing. Maybe it is my "finisher" side of me. I wanted to get this task done! I found out that I was 9-9 1/2 cm and had a bit of the cervix left until I was fully effaced. I love how calm I look. It was like I knew it was time to rest up for the hard (but fun) work ahead. Michael did a great job helping me out there.
Again, he is such an AMAZING coach!
I surprised all the staff by making it until the shift change. At 7:00am the new midwife on call comes in. Around 7:30 Brandy (on the right) came in. JJ (the midwife who I had labored with) is on the left. After a long walk in the hallway I was feeling more and more ready to push. I was starting to go through transition and was done with labor. I was ready for this to be over. With Haddie I was very verbal with transition, but this time around it was more internal. I was tired and ready to start pushing.
I decided to use the birthing bar again. This one was a little bit different than the one I used before at a different hospital. It took some time to get used to it and find a comfortable position but once I did I was ready to go. I love the excitement in Michael's eyes here! I can tell he is proud of me!
Here he is keeping me encouraged as I start to push. My water still has not broken at this point. This time around pushing was so different. Haddie was very fast (15-20 min. with no breaks). This time around it was more slow and steady. I would push through a contraction and then I would have a pause for about 5-10 minutes before another contraction would come on. The first time this happened I sat back and asked what I was supposed to do while I waited for a contraction. We all laughed as they told me to rest. I was ready to push not to rest!!
At one point Judah's heart rate went down so I laid on my left side to bring it back up again. Then I went back into pushing. While there was a little bit of fluid coming out, the bag of waters was not breaking and Judah was not coming down. We decided to have Brandy try to push on the hole but it still didn't break. Then we had her go in and break the bag of waters. At that point the contractions really started to come and I was very uncomfortable for the first time. Haddie's birth came rushing back to me in my mind and I was thankful for the more relaxed labor this time around! After a few pushes Brandy told Michael that if he wanted to catch the baby that he should come around next to her. He quickly replied that he wanted to but needed someone to take his place supporting me. I was truly blessed to have JJ (who stayed after her shift was over) come and support me. She rubbed my back and was fanning me between contractions.
At 8:24 on May 24, 2011 after about 45 min of 2nd stage labor and about 4 or so pushes Judah was brought into this world by the loving hands of his daddy and Brandy. Michael brought him right up to my chest and it was love at first sight! We have a boy! I have a son!
I remember thinking, "You look nothing like your sister and you are huge!" His fingers were so long and his body was long as well! At the same time I thought "He is so tiny!" He came out just like his sister with one hand on his face! This time I was spared any internal cuts and I did not tear at all. What a blessing!
I love my expression here as I look at Judah for the first time. We were pretty sure that we wanted to name a boy "Judah Bennett" but waited until we could look at him to decide this for sure. After holding him for some time we agreed that he looked like a Judah and boy was he praising God with his lungs! This little guys sure had a loud cry! A beautiful sound to our ears!
I had the joy of having Judah on my chest from the begining. They checked him out as he was on my chest and he wanted to start nuring right away. He nursed for a sold 45 min! Way to go little guy! It was a beautiful sunny morning and Michael and I celebrated with a Bradley tradition of a nice cold glass of orange juice. Nothing tastes better! After Judah was done nursing I asked them to weigh him as I was dying to know how big he was.
Judah weighed in at 8 pounds 12.4 ounces! He was 21.5 inches long! No wonder he looked big compared to Haddie who was 7 pounds 14.6 ounces and 20 inches long!
Look at those beautiful baby feet! I loved taking the time to just look him over and fall in love with him. He was so sweet and beautiful!
I couldn't have done it without Michael! His care for me during the pregnancy and through the labor and delivery was truly a gift and a blessing!
Later that day Haddie got to come to the hospital to meet her little brother! She loved him and was not so sure of him all at the same time! As long as he wasn't crying she was fine. She also loved the new "pack pack" (aka back pack) that Judah got for her.
Here is Judah 24 hours old. He was (and still is) such a good baby. He slept well and ate well all night long!
Brandy came in the next day to see him and see how we were doing. What a special time to see her again. She was such a blessing to have during the delivery and an answer to prayer. When I first got pregnant I prayed that Brandy would be able to deliver this next baby and I was blessed to see how God cared about even this detail! We were getting ready to get checked out to go home when the nurse noticed Judah was breathing a bit fast. She decided to take him to the newborn holding nursery where she could watch him closer. Little did we know that he would not come back to us in our room. Michael went to check on Judah and then came back to let me know that Judah had been taken to NICU.
There is never something more devistating than to hear that your baby is in NICU. I couldn't go see him right away but was thankful for Jan (one of the lactaction nurses) being on staff. We had met before and when she came in to see what was going on I just burst into tears. I had been holding them in to be strong and I couldn't hold it back anymore. I quickly asked if I could start pumping my milk for Judah. She said I could and got me all set up. If I couldn't be with him at least I could spend my time doing something for him! When we finally got to see him it was such a comfort to touch him and have him hold on to us.
While this was not the start we wanted we tried to stay positive though the process. I was again blessed to have Michael right there by my side as we ended up spending an extra week in the hospital. I won't go into all the details as that is a story on its own but here is a little bit of what the next week looked like for us. We got to spend 2 extra nights in our room and then we spent the rest of the nights in the lobby or in rooms that were empty. The midwives and Gina
(our labor and delivery nurse/charge nurse) did a great job of helping us find a place to stay so that I could nurse Judah through the night. We will be forever greatful for their help. I don't know how I would have been able to handle leaving Judah through the nights!
We came in one morning to find one of the nurses had made this cute sign for his bed! It made us smile to see the care that some of them had for making us feel welcome.
After a few days of antibiotics Judah was looking much better! To this day we will not know 100% sure what infection he had but we are almost positive that it was Group-B Strep.
Each day kept getting better as I got to hold him more and feed him more. If I could, I would have spent every moment in there with him. It was so hard to leave him each time, but the times together were so sweet!
On the day he was supposed to leave the NICU we seemed to hit every little bump along the way. His port didn't get flushed and it had closed over so they had to start a new line for his last dose of antibiotics. I think it took 7 or so tries before they could get one in. They tried his arms, hands, legs, even head before they finally got one in his foot. They took a little diaper and covered his foot (pictured above) so that he would not kick the line out. I prayed that he would keep it in long enough to get the antibiotics in so that we could finally go home. Well he did and we packed up his little room and got him ready to go home!
On May 31st, one week after he was born, Judah Bennett Kaspar finally got to come home! We were all so excited. It had been a journey but we were blessed to see God's hand at work through it all. Judah continues to be a joy and a delight to us all and we look forward to seeing how he grows and changes over these next few months. As he name says, he truly is blessed! He had a tough start to life but he is blessed to be in perfect health to this day. We pray that one day he will live a life that praises God!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Back Again...and Michael is in India

Wow! I can't believe how long it has been since I posted anything. Many things have changed since then. The most exciting is that we are expecting baby number 2! I am 30 weeks along and we are all so excited to meet this little baby.

I am also now teaching natural childbirth through Bradley. I am doing my student teaching right now and so far I really enjoy it. We will see what it will be like with two little ones.

While the top two have kept me more busy, the real reason I am back is that my computer is fixed and and I am finally able to type without my screen going black! What a joy! With Michael in India I thought it would be good to get started again so that he has an easy way to see some pics of Haddie. While he is gone I try to do some extra fun things to help pass the time along for her (and me). The older she gets (she will be 2 at the end of this month) the more aware she is of his absence. If I keep her busy she doesn't think to ask for him until the evening when it is time for her to go to bed.


Good morning Daddy!! Guess what mom made for me this morning???

Teddy Bear Pancakes!

If you guys are like us, mornings can be a bit of a crazy time. We try to eat a healthy diet but it can be hard to make everything homemade in the morning. So, I came up with this Pancake Mix. This serves as a great base and then you can add other things to mix in and change it up!

Whole Wheat Pancake Mix

6 cups Whole Wheat Flour
1 TBSP Salt
6 TBSP Baking Powder
6 TBSP Sugar (can do less if you want to)
2 Cups Powder Milk

Mix base together and store in an airtight container (I added the following instructions to my jar so that I didn't have to look it up in the morning).

Add to 1.5 Cups of mix

1 Egg
1 Cup Water
2TBSP Oil

Favorite things to mix in (Pick only one dry ingredient):

Oat Bran (1/2 cup)
Brewers Yeast (1 TBSP)
Oatmeal (1/2 cup)
Wheat Germ (1/4 cup)
1 Mashed Banana
1 Cup frozen berries
3/4 cup small diced apples and some cinnamon

Get creative...you get the idea! Enjoy!


I leave you with a special video of Haddie dancing. If you listen carefully you can hear her saying "God so great!" It was so precious to hear! At the end you can tell that her daddy travels a fair bit. She is not sure where he is (his last trip was to Portland and her uncle Ben is in Honduras).